Save Your Marriage

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What do divorce, adultery, drug abuse, and suicide have in common?  Cowardice.  That probably sounds a little too harsh.  Let’s call it “fear”.  Fear of trying hard and failing anyway.  Fear of frustration.  Fear that one’s inabilities or incompetency will be exposed.  Fear of being identified as a failure.  Fear to face the difficulties of life.  Lack of confidence in one’s ability to overcome and succeed.

Some say divorce, drug abuse, and suicide are very bad solutions to ordinary problems, but they are not really solutions at all.  They are escapes.  Running away.  Wimping out.  Running off the battle field.  Going AWOL.  An escape from duty, from responsibility.

So, now that we know what the problem is, how do we solve it? Read the rest of this entry »

I Corinthians 13 says that three things remain — faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.  Yet, we all need hope.

People often commit suicide for loss of hope.  Hope is a belief and a trust in future happiness, that things will work out for good.  When we choose to stare at the negative things in life and when we focus on all the evidence that things are horrible and will get worse, it is easy to lose hope and become depressed.  Often disappointments get our full attention when they are still fresh, open wounds.

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Have you noticed how often prophesies seem to be self-fulfilling?  That is rather than predict the future, they set the path of the future into place?

Have you noticed how well you can predict when your spouse will be nice and when he or she will misbehave?  Do you find yourself preparing yourself for the worst, preparing for battle, getting all your verbal weapons lined up and responses prepared so that you can respond to what your spouse is going to say before its finished being said?

And, what happens after that when you see your spouse?  Sparks fly?  If your spouse doesn’t start them, you start them just to make sure your spouse doesn’t get there first.  Or the look on your face and your body language and the tone of your voice sets your spouse off.  Perhaps there’s a silent treatment involved, or perhaps you think there is and don’t want to be oblivious.  But, you know there’s a fight coming, and soon you find you’re right.

Can I be blunt and honest about it?  That’s dumb.  But, we’ve probably all done it.

Read the rest of this entry »